As a liberal, I'd no longer have to think about economics. I'd never have to concern myself with how regulations and taxes affect the business market and result in fewer jobs. If people ended up without jobs, I'd just suggest that we start another government program, or even better, just have the government hire them to do something. As a liberal, I'd be able to support a higher minimum wage and ignore the fact that minimum wage increases invariably result in major job losses. I could ignore the fact that the rich pay almost all the taxes, and complain about how they pay no taxes. I could talk about tax cuts for the poor, when the poor have been largely removed from the tax rolls and are actually being given money back that they didn't pay, through the Earned Income Tax Credit.

If I were a liberal, I'd never have to read the Constitution of the United States of America again, except for the first amendment. I wouldn't need to concern myself with separation of powers, freedom to disassociate from others, or those pesky 9th and 10th amendments that confuse people so. As a liberal, I'd have the freedom to twist any rule, law or constitutional provision in any way I wish, as long as it made me feel good.

One thing I'd really love about being a liberal is never having to be wrong again. I'd be able to support any position I wished by simply bringing the concept of truth itself into question. I'd never have to worry about my actions being considered wrong, or any moral codes to follow. I could completely ignore the existence of God himself, if I wanted, especially if some ancient book said I shouldn't do something I wanted to. I'd never have to back myself up with facts, or evidence. I could completely base my ethical and moral codes on my personal feelings, what my friends say, or the literary works of James Joyce.

If I didn't like someone, and I was a liberal, I could actually do something about them. I could accuse them of hatefulness, sexism, racism, or being a conservative, religious nut. I might even get them fired from their job, kicked out of their school, or run out of town on a rail. If it became too easy for them to defend themselves against my attack, I could just try to change the rules to keep them from knowing who the attack came from, or keep them from mounting a defense. It works on college campuses, so it should work elsewhere.

If I were liberal, I'd never again have to think of a reasonable defense for war. I'd never have to work hard to win a debate. I'd never have to read works on political science, contitutional law, international trade, or economics. I'd just make up my mind, and anybody who disagreed with me, I'd call an idiot (or worse).

Wait. I just thought of something. If I were a liberal, I'd have to put up with things I'd rather not put up with. People who know no truth find it easy to lie. People who dislike personal property end up as thieves. People with no moral code can't be trusted. Ever been around liberal activists? There are so many grungy, foul-mouthed, hateful people I can't stand it.

Oh, and another thing. Libertarian and conservative women tend to be better looking.

That's it. I'm staying.