I want to apologize publicly for the horrible things I said about Sports Clips in Dayton Ohio. It turns out I got a pretty good haircut for someone who didn’t know his hair was falling out. I got the haircut the third week in January, and it wasn’t until about three weeks later that I realized the truth.

This wasn’t without warning. My facial hair started falling out a couple years ago. I’ve had to stop wearing the van dyke since bald spots started to intrude. Once I could have grown a Tom Selleck, though it would have looked horrible on my face. Now, if I don’t shave, I have a sort of thick, crooked Hercule Poirot. My worst fear is that I’ll end up forced into an Adolf. Good thing I work from home.

My wife discovered the actual problem when she looked closer at the obviously poorly-cut spot on the back of my head. Since I couldn’t see it, I had her take a photo with her phone. What followed was an amazing laughing fit I have seen in years. My wife could barely hold the camera still enough to take a photo, she was laughing so hard.

As I’ve said, this didn’t come without warning. It’s actually a form of alopecia, and my sister has already been through it. Hers lasted around 12 years. Since she’s 12 years older than I, I’d say the timing is right. Hers started pretty much like mine, with bald spots forming then thin white hair sparsely filling the gaps. Gradually more of her head was thin white hair and less was the formerly dark brown.

Here is a “before” photo of my sister. It’s a little outdated. It’s her 6th grade school photo.

You might think I’d follow with the “after” photo, but I don’t have any good ones. Instead, I’ll select a photo that I think conveys the right feel.  I try to imagine what it must have been like for her,  because I know it’s coming for me. I took what I imagine my hair will like at its worst, and I found the perfect photo.  Below is, I’m sure, how my sister FELT the “after” looked.

So, Happy Birthday to ME!  I’m going bald, bit by bit, and not in any way in a good way.

I’ll live, but don’t be surprised if you see me with a shaved head in the future.